You there! STOP EATING

If you're walking down the street in New York you just might be lucky enough to come across this sign: Hey you! STOP EATING. See me here through the bramble? I'm here to help! Thanks for the note, Mount Sinai. I was trying to figure out ways to slim down and was having a lot of difficulty. But then, when I saw your sign as I stuffed a bagel in my mouth, I was like, Oooh that's how it works. One of the other posters says, "Stop smoking, pick up a hobby." I don't know why they assume smokers can't multitask. They are wrong. I wish I could have a cigarette but I am way too busy needlepointing this pillow for my grandmother and am very busy. 


Even those these are seriously dick posters, I appreciate them much more than women's magazines which are like, "Instead of meeting a friend for a drink, why not go work out together?" While I really appreciated the subtlety, working out with a friend may not be the most fun thing in the world; especially because people really like talking about going to the gym:


OMG I went to the gym today, did you go to the gym today? Oh you did? Yeah, I went forever, like forEVER. However long you worked out, add at least forty minutes and that was me. I like did the elliptical--no not the treadmill, eww I don't want big legs--and then did some repetition workouts. People checked me out. I was in Lulu lemon. Yeah, the racerback. So flattering.