20-Somethings Really Fucking Lazy

A cool looking photo of 20-Something doing something stupid

like thinking.

A new study with scientific evidence and proximity suggests that 20-somethings are now “really fucking lazy”. While the study did not put this age group within a specific timeline, it argues that being “20-something, or whatever” is like being stuck in a box that is also a blender. Follow-ups have yet to determine what this actually means.

Teach for These Underprivileged Kids, as well as artsy shit and worthless travel, punctuate the current post-college existence. In some cases, this Peter Pan bullshit even leads young people back to school for no reason whatsoever, where they continue to “study” and “hook-up.”

Refusing to get married out of college, they seemed convinced that they will be able to find the right partner after “dating” or “getting to know someone.” This willy-nilly attitude towards romance has resulted in the median age at first marriage shooting forward and out of control. Women, apparently gung ho about working in an “office,” refuse to settle down until 26.

Their dilly-dallying is compounded by a disgusting optimism, which plagues all 20-somethings. For some reason they seem to think they can do just about anything. And, caught in a romantic “sense of possibility,” they continue to explore their options. This nauseating self-discovery period gives 20-somethings the chance to live at home with their parents, like the losers they are. Even worse, privileged fucks with money are trying new things and finding a sense of self; instead of going straight into banking. Reports suggest “poor people” might do this too, but no one really cares.

While it’d be nice to think that happier, well educated, and culturally informed people might eventually make some sort of contribution, if they don’t stop thriving on hope and “volunteering” there’s really nothing we can do.

The writer’s last article was about anxiety.