BLAAARG SNOWBALL!!!

I think maybe we were all a bit overwhelmed by the double post last Monday, and that is why it was necessary to take a week off. It was also necessary because of the snow. That’s right: when it snows everyone becomes paralytically and debilitatingly mesmerized (note: those should be words). For example: “I was going to go to the movies and then it snowed” It’s like when I wake up and think, “I was going to go to work and then remembered I didn’t have a job.”

I think the worst part of snow is actually the aftermath. You’ll be walking outside with some people and then—and it only takes one person—someone is like HAHA snowballs are so fun and crazy, and they throw one at your face, and this is like only fun for maybe the first two snowballs and then you think, “ummm okay, I’m done” and they’re like, “BLAAARRG SNOWBALL!!!!” and they fucking hit you again. It is not fun; the fun is over. It’s starts out super silly—we are waaay to old for this but boy are we having fun—and then it needs to stop. It's like that Coke commercial they ran during the olympics and all the other countries are having fun in the snowball fight, and then the guy from Canada is like, "I just want my coke." And he's right.

First there are snowballs, and then all the fucking snow starts melting. You’ll be walking along in your UGGS, which you wore specifically for the weather bc you fucking know they’re ugly but they are still weather appropriate, and you know what? you’ll step in a huge puddle, and then just as you’re like, “ugh” but still feel like you’ve recovered by making it to the other side of the street, you walk under an awning and get fucked by a raindrop.