Ya, I believe you Dan.

If there’s one thing I know in the city it’s this: Dan Smith will teach me how to play guitar. If I don't know that by now I'd have to be fucking retarded. Thanks Dan, I "get it" but unfortunately I'm not down to jam. In fact Dan Smith has been available to teach me guitar as long as I can remember and, according to the photo on his flyer, he doesn’t age. I was walking to work the other day and I saw his little flyer up in Chinatown. I am legitimately curious how he has managed to put these signs up everywhere. Granted he’s had at least 22 years to cover all of this space (could be even more) but it also led me to another question: why won’t anyone just play with him? I mean, if he still has these signs plastered everywhere (like what happened when the Springstreeters released their new CD which was like so fucking professional they got really intense signs to prove it and put them everywhere. But it was still a capella) there must be a very serious problem. What if his mother just put up all these signs like, “Please just play with Dan.” Can you imagine if your mother did that to you? “Please just hang out with Antonia. She has no discernable talent but see her posed here with a guitar.” Or what if you made a sign that said: “Don’t play with Dan Smith. Play with ME!” I bet Dan would be so fucking pissed but, at the same time, he can still fit into his skinny jeans and his hair has great body so he really shouldn’t be complaining.