Now with added fiber!

I only have random thoughts to offer this morning. Since I've been a math wiz recently I'm going to hit up some fractions and then some integers. (<---"integer" is a math word).

(1/2. someone super hot is now living in my apartment building. I saw him in the elevator. the space was like a little too cramped; it was AWESOME).

(3/4. the guy on the train is probs super jealous now.)

OK and because fractions aren't fun...

1. I was walking back from work the other day and I passed a massive woman wearing capri sweat pants—I don’t mean “OMG she is so fat” like when girls say it, I mean when you pass someone and they are fucking fat. So after thinking “Oooohoo look at her pants,” I realized she had slits above the knee as if only her knees had gotten fat all by themselves (which obviously wasn’t the case because clearly the rest caught up) and needed to be liberated from the pants. They looked like the faces of two fat children with napkins on their heads. I felt better about my own outfit.

2. Oh my god. I was going to blog about clothing because obviously I am so fucking stylish and a total authority on that kind of stuff and then Ray Romano came on the tv screen. Did you ever realize that whenever you want to watch tv fucking Everybody Loves Raymond comes on? WHAT IS HE DOING IN ANOTHER SHOW? Why won’t he stop? Does this mean when I turn on TNT Ray will ruin this too?

3. This is a really important point. Why do my favorite cereals keep adding fiber to them? I got back late one night and was eating a nice big bowl of cereal when all of the sudden....."Now with fiber!" That was probably the worst suprise in the whole world. Granted I was eating cereal that wasn't super fun but the best cereals are also being ruined. For example, during my lengthy commitment to the TV yesterday an ad come up for Fruit loops “Hurray!” I thought, “Fruit loops! What fun!” Wrong. Fruit loops now comes with added fiber. These kids are jumping up and down having the best time ever but little do they know things are going to be miserable in a couple of hours. Sure you "can’t taste the fiber" but I promise you you will fucking feel the fiber in the near future. Another point: are people lacking in fiber? Are little Cathy and Danny about to require some UN rescue food packets and habitat for humanity so they can sit in a hut and shit like crazy? Oooh if ONLY they’d had enough fiber.