Chinese Food Makes Person Feel Cultured

After ordering Chinese food for the second time this week, Frank Jones, a freshman in college, decided that he felt intellectually stimulated and more importantly cultured. Having never left the United States, or in fact Massachusetts , he suddenly felt as if he “ had traveled on some Chinese fishing boat and done hieroglyphics or whatever that fancy stuff they do”

Frank does not credit these new feelings to a variety of Chinese food saying that he pretty much just ate “a shit load rice.” However it didn’t even take much of that for him to feel transported across ocean and into “ that Mulan movie that Disney did last year.” This mental adventure has resulted in an increase in class attendance for Frank.

“Before whenever I was in class I felt like all of the other students just thought I was stupid but now I’m like, “Whatever man I eat Chinese food” You know… ‘cause its not like I just eat burgers now and I think they should know that.” Unfortunately, Frank’s actual grades still “suck.”

Frank also feels more connected to his math professor, and the girl who is always in the library. “Now when I see Asian people I feel like I really understand how they’re feeling.” While the thought of joining the Chinese club or actually reading about China has crossed his mind Frank says that, “ it would be exhausting and also the way they mark books in the library is confusing.”

Inspired by his surge in self -confidence, Frank may even venture to other new foods or he might not. He has also seriously considered getting “an awesome Chinese tattoo”. At the same time however he does not want to limit his own intellectual growth because right now he feels “pretty unstoppable.”