I was walking past a thrift shop yesterday and they had their valentines day window set up: used underwear in Victoria’s Secret bags. I just thought, “Wow, that is so gross.” Can you imagine if your boyfriend bought you that as a gift? “Here you go honey. I heard good things happened in this outfit before.” There was time in my life where I thought shopping at vintage stores was just the coolest thing possible. Like now, when I go into American Apparel and have these mini hallucinations about being cool and my body looking acceptable in a variety of multi-colored spandex. It doesn’t. I think a large part of going to vintage shops is talking about that you went there.
Hey Susie I just love that top, where did you get it?
Oh, its vintage. I got it at this really cool shop that no one even knows about. You go into this regular shop and then, if you know the password, you enter this trap door, follow it down through a super-secret tunnel, and wind up in a small room filled with clothing. I doubt you’ll ever find it.
Another option, which is just as totally awesome, is to say you got it in some foreign country; preferably like Ghana or Mumbai, because there is no way you super white friend has been there and they will be impressed at your general bohemian attitude and wordly ways.
Looove love that dress
Yes, I got it at flea market in South Africa when I was traveling there with just a backpack and cool bandana to keep my hair back. I didn’t bring any money with me because I really wanted to immerse myself in the culture and they are like super fucking poor. I thought, “OMG I need that dress” so I bartered some shit.
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Alternatively, you can just lie about things to make them and yourself sound cooler and more bohemian.
ReplyDeletePoint and case:
"Wow, those are really cool earrings."
Lie: "Thanks, I bought them at this night market in rural China for about 25 cents from a woman wearing a conical hat who had no teeth and didn't speak any English."
Truth: I bought them four years ago from the redneck, checkout girl at the Target in Lexington, Kentucky. Ironically, the checkout girl also had no teeth.