Maybe I WOULD fucking expect it

I am so sick of reading interviews with famous women. Obviously I’m not talking about particularly classy or deep magazines. I mean in like Glamour or Vogue. Every time I read one these interviews all they say is, “You would not believe how normal so and so is.” Ok here are two examples from March. I literally didn’t even have to look that hard:

On Carrie Underwood: “We’re backstage...watching Carrie do her best impression of a bitchy actress—the key word being impression.”

On Kiera Knightly after she says some self-deprecating comment: “To my ears, this sounds like crazy talk, some sort of English shtick.”

Not only are the authors who wrote this shit commentary shocked but also both of these actresses are like, “OMG can you imagine if I WERE bitchy? ”, by pretending to be bitchy. All I want to fucking read is that they are bitchy, not how shockingly normal they are despite making piles and piles of money and being so naturally thin. Granted the really evil article is also pretty common, but how about something in the middle? Like, “Mischa Barton walked in and pretended to be bitchy—she is like so witty, you’d never expect it!—but you know what? She actually was pretty bitchy, and she also looked fat.” They always say that too: “You would never expect it.” Actually, maybe I would fucking expect it, how do you know what I would expect, ELLE magazine?