Try to stay warm!

The great thing about the weather is that going outside really makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. It’s so cold that just walking is a fucking adventure. Everywhere I arrive I think, “Yes, I did it.” (Obviously, this state of “arrival” only happens about once a day, after I walk the dogs and come back to my apartment). The other thing about being in the cold, if you’re out with a group and not just dogs, is that everyone speaks like they’re in a war film and their conversation is being timed.

HEY!!!!!!
HI! HI!!!!!
What do you want to do?!!!!!!
IT'S SO FUCKING COLD
I KNOW!!!

And, of course, all you can talk about is being cold and then some ass hole is like, “Is it cold enough for you?” Is it cold enough for me?! No, it’s not really “cold enough” for me until my breath freezes in the air and falls cracking at my feet; then I know I've really conquered mother earth because I'm still in one piece. And then they say something like “Try to stay warm” Oh thank you, it's lucky you happened to mention that because, since I'm retarded, I have no idea what to do when it's cold out. Anyway, is staying warm a super hard thing to do? I mean, if you stay inside, or if you dress appropriately, I think you’ve probably got it. “Oh what did you do today?” “Well, I just tried to stay warm during the morning but then I went for a walk and, you know what, I fucking made it. Then, right around dinner, I realized that it wasn’t cold enough for me but luckily my mother came home and opened up all the windows in our apartment."