What goes through my mind when I drive my car (from my father’s perspective)

Yes! I get to drive my car again. I’m so glad it’s my car and never ever belonged to my father. I am completely oblivious of the fact that it actually belongs to him. I wonder who pays for the snow tires and gas. I bet it comes from all my internship money.

I think the inside of my car looks super clean, maybe I’ll stop by a garbage dump and fill it with crap before I get going.

I am so glad its raining out. I think I’ll drive as fast as possible. I love when I can barely see out the front of the car because the weather is so bad. Maybe I’ll just shut my eyes if I get the chance. I wonder if I’ll be able to hydroplane. If I just go fast enough I think I can pull it off.

Today is the ideal day to get on the Taconic Parkway. I can’t wait to take the most challenging route and completely ignore all of the road signs—especially the speed limit; going around those curves at 90 mph is so exciting. My friend Jenny did it, which means I can do it too. Plus, there are never policemen on the Taconic and, if there are, they will be so impressed my car can go so fast.

Why are there other cars on the road? This is absurd! I am so surprised to find myself driving along side other people. I figured I would have the entire parkway to myself because the highways are usually so empty.

Oh, looks like I need gas since I’m miraculously driving on empty. The red mark on my gas gage is probably just there as a suggestion. Hmm, where can I find the most expensive gas station? I love spending money on gas. And, if I’m lucky, I will also find a gas station like in that movie The Hills Have Eyes. I could totally beat anyone’s ass! It’s too bad it’s not nighttime because this would be the ideal time to assert my independence as a woman. Or maybe there will just be some truck drivers there with super awesome tattoos, and I could just get a ride from someone else! I’ll offer to split my beer with them. That’ll do the trick!