There was no "leisurely pace"

As soon as Brooklyn got sweet, so did biking. I don't mean like biking around the park, I mean biking to work, or around NYC, in your cool outfit.

When I was at Oxford people biked everywhere, so naturally I got a bike because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to bike on the wrong side of the road and feel cool about it. You know what? Not fun. It sounds like a good idea but it is not. First off, I can't not bike as fast as possible--there was no "leisurely pace". When I got on that bike I was not fucking around. Whether or not I had to be somewhere soon was completely irrelevant. I was going to fucking race to my destination: anyone who was next to me was not a friend, they were my enemy, and they were going to lose. 

The problem with riding a bike is that it's impossible to dress properly. I would start out feeling fucking awesome about my outfit and then by the time I reached my tutorial--in record time--I was sweating and completely disheveled. What are you supposed to wear? There is really only a five minute period where you are actually hot, but it is really hot.

Speaking of hot: I was in Nantucket for the 4th of July this summer and my friend suggested a group of us bike to the beach. It sounds fucking awesome. It sounds like we're about to take a scene from Now and Then and be best friends forever. We are not.