Can I have some?

Mmm, french toast. Can I have some?

"I run down the center stairway toward the sweet smell of Canadian maple syrup. The crisp bacon sizzling, the hash browns roasting. There’s French toast sprinkled with sugar and globby eggs being squished and squashed to be scrambled. All these wonderful sounds and smells make my mouth water and my nose twitch."


This quotation was taken from today's NY Post article, "Is your school out to lunch?" I am absolutely devastated that I can't find the accompanying picture online and I'm really sorry to put down the 5th grader who wrote it, but it has to happen. You know that scene in A Christmas Story when the mom goes "Who's my little piggy? Who's my little piggy?" Yup, like that. The picture is up close of this rather corpulent young girl drizzling syrup over a jenga game of french toast. We can only assume this is her second serving. 


The first person account goes on to add, "I’m worried too many New Yorkers will read this and steal our food! What will happen to us then?" WHO WILL FEED ME? And even worse dilemma arrives when you get breakfast for lunch: "Now, I want to ask myself: If breakfast is lunch and lunch is dinner and dinner is breakfast, where does dessert belong?" AAAH OH NO! HOW WILL WE GET DESSERT?! HOW THE FUCK WILL WE GET DESSERT?!! WE NEED IT! What will I do without dessert? If french toast counts then I'm fucking pissed. No, really, I am, because it shouldn't. 


Isn't there anything we can do to help this poor child?!! 


"low fat chocolate milk and ice cream!" Does low fat count? Could we put the ice-cream in between a bagel? If so, would it melt? How about ice-cream cake? Fuck it, ice-cream cake pizza.