What if we like ordered a bunch of stuff and shared it?

How was your long weekend? Was it "good" "relaxing" "nice to have a break" ? You might be wondering how I know, and it's because mine was also "good" and "relaxing." It's the same as the summer conversation.

Now that we got that out of the way: How do you feel about sharing food at a restaurant? I'll tell you how I feel: not great. You'll go to a restaurant with a big group of friends that is already way too fucking big because like Jenny had to bring her boyfriend and her boyfriend had to bring his friends so he wasn't alone and they all suck but they're there so oh well, AND THEN someone goes, "What if we like ordered a bunch of stuff and all shared it?"

No. I don't want to share. It's not because I have sharing issues it's because chances are that everyone is going to like this one dish that I probably wanted to order anyway because I have excellent taste. Also, everyone gets super kind and compassionate about what to eat: "Do you want the last one? No you take it! Totally! I already tried part of it so I'm fine! Ya GO FOR IT!" Here's what happens: there is always one tiny piece of dessert left. It's always dessert and it's probably like the most fucking delicious cake you've ever had, but if you finish it off then you're an asshole.

The thing is once this whole scenario starts up you are trapped because no one is going to be like, "No, I don't want to share. I want my very own. I know what I want and I don't want your communist theories fucking with that. I'd like to eat from my own plate and not some sort of segregated trough."