I fucking love sweatpants

Piperlime's new and inexplicably nasty ad.

Dear Piperlime,

I saw your ad the other day. My friends and I were in a taxi and then it zoomed by on top of another taxi, yeah, the one that says, "Say NO to sweatpants." Hey, hi, sorry, Piperlime, but WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? Oh, and what does your name even mean? Because, you know what, I have no idea. And if you thought you could trick me by appearing on Project Runway, guess what: you can't. Nope, no fucking way; when Tim Gunn was like, "Choose carefully from the Piperlime wall," I thought, "What the fuck is Piperlime?" and so did everyone else.

And, by the way, since we're on the subject, I fucking love sweatpants. Ya, I do. Sometimes I just sit in my sweatpants all day long because I'm a blogger, and it's a step up from my nightgown. When I'm feeling really good, I wear my nice sweatpants, the ones with the drawstring and flair. I have to differentiate between these two types because it's important to dress for the right occasion.

Speaking of finding the right clothes, Piperlime, I actually went online to see what the deal was--turns out you're part of Gap and Old Navy SO DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO WEAR.

Wearing my sweats right now,

Antonia