Now that I'm in retail, I'm all about the hug

You know when you run into someone from the street from college and you weren’t really friends with? And it’s like very, very awkward because you don’t know what to do. Do you do the hug? Do you just ignore them? If you make eye contact half way down the block then you are fucked because not only do you have to talk when you pass them but you also have to pretend to scroll through your non-existent emails/yawn/demonstrate a huge appreciation for the scenery until you meet up with them. You can’t be like, “Hello! YOU! Yes, you! I haven’t seen you in ages. Do you see me waving through this crowd of people? I wish they would hurry up so that we could hang as soon as possible.”

The worst-case scenario for this is if the other person is a girl because I promise you, they will want to fucking hug and this hug will be prefaced by “Oh my gooood hi!!!” And, now that I’m in retail, I’m all about the fucking hug. I’m like, “HIIIIIIII” and followed by “How are you?” in a very genuine peppy voice, and then I try to sell anything I can find. No ones ever says, “You know when we didn’t hang out in college? It may have been on purpose.”