I chose it out on purpose

The elevator is undoubtedly one of the most awkward places in the entire world; it’s like being stuck inside a coffin with a bunch of strangers, and they are the worst strangers in the whole world because they could also be thought of as your neighbors. Luckily, I live in a really enormous building so I don’t have to be friendly—which would be the WORST—and we all just stand there like we are the sole individuals present and, of course, this can create some bizarre situations because tragically you are not alone.

This is a true story. I got into the elevator one Saturday night (that’s right I was actually “going out”) and it was fairly chilly outside but I say “chilly” specifically because it wasn’t actually really cold yet. I was wearing a scarf. Not a big deal. So this woman gets onto the elevator and immediately breaks the don’t-fucking-talk-to-me-in-this-small-space rule that I have with everyone.

Woman: It’s really cold out.

Me: [Why is she talking to me? I’ll give a short answer] Yeah.

Woman: You will probably be cold in that.

Me: [What?!] Oh, this scarf is pretty warm.

Woman: You should go get a jacket.

Me: Well it’s a pretty big scarf.

Woman: That’s lucky.

Oh, actually, it's not a matter of luck because I chose it out on purpose. I literally saw it and said, yes, I will wear that and my neck will be warm and if I want to turn it into a hat later because I'm feeling crazy, I can do that too because I have options and free will. What did she want me to do say, “Stop the elevator immediately! I do not want to freeze to death in this insufficient scarf that I am not really lucky to have, even though there are children starving in Africa who—if they were cold and it wasn’t hot there—would want this scarf, because it will never ever shield me from the bitter cold of October. Somehow god is trying to reach me through this angel disguised as a bitch in the elevator. He thought he could trick me but NO! I will trust this angel, this Gabriel here, because she knows best.”