Dove ad creates surge of unwarranted self-confidence

When the heat wave returned to NYC this past weekend, many took this as a free pass to strip down and beach themselves on the lawns of Central Park. Entering the park from at a variety of locations, one was immediately accosted by the over confident and "slutty." People squeezed onto every patch of grass like pregnant fish in a sardine can, and reported "not giving a shit" about the other people around them.

It turns out that this abundance of erroneous self confidence can be tranced back to Dove's ad campaign earlier this year. The campaign, geared towards promoting the beauty of "real women," displayed women with many different types of bodies laughing and having the best time ever. "When I first saw the ad," reports Cindy Lord, "I was like, "Wow they are all so beautiful," but I like still totally wished the one on the far right was bit skinnier." Others like Cindy were quickly inspired by the "fat girls" in the campaign. "It was so great to see that all these girls who like didn't care they were ugly," remembers Sandra Greer, "but then it got a bit out of control because people thought they were ok, but they like weren't."

Greer pointed specifically to her cousin who, she reports, "saw the ad and could like relate to these woman so well it was disgusting."

*I truly apologize for the spelling of "surge." This was written before my coffee and is completely unacceptable, but still pretty fucking ridic.

Hot Tips

While I don't make it a habit to post during the weekend, I was reading Cosmo in preparation for my absolutely wild and crazy Saturday night and I came across this (I will be following up with a another in depth Cosmo look on Monday--Don't worry). Embedded in the Promotions/Advertising section, and under the title "Hot Tips," was an ad for this:



Okay...HOW SLUTTY DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO BUY AN AT HOME PATERNITY TEST? Thank you Cosmo. I can't tell you how much I appreciate other good tips in addition to the "sexy move" that "works from 20 feet away." Now I can have sex from across the room and find out if he my baby's daddy all in one night.

Be Cool.

It's Friday and I'm still delusional: P.I.A.M.B.F. continues.





(many thanks to the English, who like to kiss strippers and go on dates, and my little sheep).

Be cool & have a good weekend.

Like when you help orphans--but this is for me

You know those emails you have to send out when you're looking for a job? The nice email asking for advice. You go onto your school network or whatever, find a really successful person and then email them like, "Hi, friend. Let's chat" then they're like, "No, I'm busy," and you say "OK" because you're "networking" and you're very good at it.

I've never had success story from this but apparently people send things like this and end up with a new friend/ "mentor." I think the concept of mentoring is pretty awesome . Whenever I hear people talking about learning new shit they're like "Get a mentor." How does that even go down? "Pardon me, but would you like to be a mentor? Like community service when you help out orphans--but this is for me."

Now--and it's hard for me to believe this story, since I blog and therefore clearly have no mentor--but it turns out that sometimes people are like "I WILL BE YOUR MENTOR" even if you're like, "You will not." My friend told me a story where he was at work talking to a female coworker. Afterwards, this older guy was like, "Be careful there, Rex Park. Hahaha" What are you even supposed to do in that scenario? "Oh, thanks for looking out for me. I was definitely going to have sex with this older unattractive woman but luckily you jumped in with your guiding hand and saved me."

I've included a list of ways you shouldn't sign these emails below. I've put "not" in caps, in case you're retarded.

Ways NOT to sign work/ "networking" emails

Love always,

Forever,

Peace,

BFFAEAE,

Makin' memories,

Chill,

Cool,

I heard you were a slut when you went to college here,

Whatever,

Antonia

20-Somethings Really Fucking Lazy

A cool looking photo of 20-Something doing something stupid

like thinking.

A new study with scientific evidence and proximity suggests that 20-somethings are now “really fucking lazy”. While the study did not put this age group within a specific timeline, it argues that being “20-something, or whatever” is like being stuck in a box that is also a blender. Follow-ups have yet to determine what this actually means.

Teach for These Underprivileged Kids, as well as artsy shit and worthless travel, punctuate the current post-college existence. In some cases, this Peter Pan bullshit even leads young people back to school for no reason whatsoever, where they continue to “study” and “hook-up.”

Refusing to get married out of college, they seemed convinced that they will be able to find the right partner after “dating” or “getting to know someone.” This willy-nilly attitude towards romance has resulted in the median age at first marriage shooting forward and out of control. Women, apparently gung ho about working in an “office,” refuse to settle down until 26.

Their dilly-dallying is compounded by a disgusting optimism, which plagues all 20-somethings. For some reason they seem to think they can do just about anything. And, caught in a romantic “sense of possibility,” they continue to explore their options. This nauseating self-discovery period gives 20-somethings the chance to live at home with their parents, like the losers they are. Even worse, privileged fucks with money are trying new things and finding a sense of self; instead of going straight into banking. Reports suggest “poor people” might do this too, but no one really cares.

While it’d be nice to think that happier, well educated, and culturally informed people might eventually make some sort of contribution, if they don’t stop thriving on hope and “volunteering” there’s really nothing we can do.

The writer’s last article was about anxiety.

I'd hate to have music but not sluts.

It's Pretend I'm A Music Blog Friday again! Yeah! I've given you two videos because I'm getting that fucking hip. Also, one has no sluts but the other does. I'd hate to have music but not sluts.